Santa Claus Sucks- (kids close your eyes!)

What is with these Santas lately? Why are they looking so malnourished. Dang! I remember when my mom use to let me sit on Santas lap when I was a little kid. I think I peed on one of them (yup knowing me I did).

I use to think, what is this fat, white dude in the beard gonna do for me. We live in the projects, we don't have a roof and I know he gonna fall off the fire escape and die. However, ever year Santa must have made it up that fire escape cause we got our gifts and the reindeers got their cookies.




I have to admit I was thirsty and use to sneak back and drink the milk.

I went to the Mall yesterday and I swear Santa Claus must be anorexic. His belt was falling off, his beard was real but it looked like he hadn't taken a bath in awhile and he HO HO HO was not jolly at all.

I know I wouldn't let my kid sit on his lap, he looked like he was a perv. Yup, Santa Claus all the real Santas are gone. Santa just sucks man..